Love Fades but Never Dies
by ilovemew
Summary: Mellitz. After Olivia Leaves Mellie and Fitz go through the difficult process of repairing their marriage.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hey guys, just to let you know I share this account so some of the stories are not mine. This is my first Mellitz fic so bare with me. If you have any questions you can find me on twitter Gladiator4liv. Hope you enjoy! :-)))))**

"Olivia still isn't answering" It was Mellies third time trying to call her husband's mistress, but she didn't care as long as he was happy. "Honey, you need to get up. You have a speech to give."

Fitz stood up and grabbed Mellie's hand to help her up off the floor. He kissed her forehead, "Thank you for trying" he whispered.

They walked out of the Oval Office together. It had been the first time that either of them could remember walking the halls of the west wing hand in hand. It was almost like going back in time for them, before the White House, before Olivia Pope, and before the rape. But the fact was the reason that they were this close again was because of the death of their son, which made Mellie sick.

Mellie stood proudly behind her husband while he gave his speech. They decided they would impress America by going out and putting smiles on their faces. Mellie wanted to be happy about the fact that she would get to spend another four years in the white house, or that Olivia was nowhere to be found, but all she could think about was the death of her son. Yet she kept a smile on her face like she had always done.

That night Fitz drank a lot. Mellie thought about drinking with him, but she decided not to just in case Fitz was to do something stupid.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Fitz said intently "You had so many opportunities"

Mellie had been waiting for this question. She was ready to answer the question as honestly as she possibly could. "I guess it was because I felt like you would be disgusted at me, because that's how I felt about myself. There were so many reasons I could not tell you Fitz."

He sat there for a minute, taking it all in. They had not really had time to process everything that happened. "You got raped… Our son is dead" Fitz said with a sense of horror in his voice.

Mellie collapsed to her knees. "I can't believe he is really gone" she sobbed. She never thought she would have a breakdown like this, especially in front of Fitz. He probably thought she was pathetic. She tried gathering herself, but nothing she was trying was helping her calm down.

Fitz saw that she was trying to hold it in. Was it because of him? He went over to her and grabbed her by the shoulders, "Mells, it is okay to let go. You can cry, let it all out, it's just you and me." They both were sitting on the floor while he took her in his arms.

After that Mellie did not hold anything back. She let out painful screams and sobs, muffled as she buried her face in Fitz's shoulder. Hearing and seeing Mellie like this caused Fitz to also let a few tears fall down his face.

Fitz looked sternly into Mellie's eyes, "Listen to me, we cannot leave each other's sides now. We have been through way too much. We can't abandon each other and we definitely can't take our time with the kids for granted. We will probably never fully get over Jerry dying, but we have to learn to accept that he is gone and move on with our lives. Mellie nodded as Fitz wiped away the left over tears on her cheek. They laid down in bed "I love you Melody, goodnight."

She couldn't help a smile coming across her face "I love you too."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Alright so just a warning, this one sucks. I had a good one and then my computer decided to erase it so I was just trying to get it over with. I will probably update soon. I think that's all, hope you enjoy! :)**

Mellie stood in the closet looking at the black dress that Fitz had picked out for her. She was surprised at how good of a job he had done picking out her clothes.

Mellie took the dress from the hanger and slipped it on, she put her arms through the long, lace sleeves and then walked over to where Fitz was standing in the bedroom tying his plain black tie. "Will you zip this up for me?" She said in a weary voice, all of her energy was drained.

She had not really been sleeping, or eating anything for the past couple of days. She only talked to say I love you to Fitz when he curled up in bed with her. Her feelings had finally got the best of her. All of her emotions that she had suppressed over the years were finally coming up. It wasn't just sadness, it was anger, and guilt, and shame that had built up. And it was all at once hitting her like a brick wall.

Usually Mellie had to be the strong one. Fitz would break down about Olivia, or get overwhelmed from the stress of running a nation, but this time he was going to stay strong for both of them. He was going to let her breakdown and finally be able to have a moment of relief from everything.

Fitz zipped up her dress. "Come on, Karen and Teddy are waiting for us in the car."

They got in the car and headed off to the church. Mellie and Fitz had been dreading this day. All eyes would be on the first family today as they grieved at the funeral of their teenage son. They did not want to think about the public. They wanted to think about their family, especially how Karen would be feeling.

When they arrived at the church Fitz told Karen to take Teddy and go sit in the front row. Mellie walked straight to her son. He was still, he looked peaceful. Mellie's eyes immediately filled with tears. She turned around and buried her face into Fitz's chest.

Fitz kissed to top of her head, "it's okay sweetie," his voice trembling.

They went and sat down next to Karen, Teddy was sitting in her lap. Mellie put her head on Fitz shoulder.

Immediately after the funeral Mellie looked at Fitz "I want to go home" she said painfully.

They arrived back to the White House and Mellie walked with Karen to her room to say goodnight. After that she put Teddy to bed, on her way out of the nursery she was pulled away. It was Andrew.

"Andrew please, I don't want to talk about this tonight."

"Mellie, do you love me?" Andrew asked

Mellie sat there for a minute. She was not expecting him to be so straight forward. She looked down, she did not want to do this to Andrew. He was so caring to her when she needed it most, "I care about you Andrew. You were there when I needed someone the most and I will always be grateful for that, but I love my husband… I am in love with Fitz."

Andrews facial expression saddened "I understand" he said, then he walked off.

Mellie went off to bed where Fitz was already in his gray Navy t-shirt, and his boxers. Mellie changed into one of Fitz's old t-shirts and laid down next to him. They faced each other and just looked into one another's eyes for a while.

Finally Fitz broke the silence "Melody, you are honestly the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on"

Mellie smiled for the first time in a while. She grabbed his hand and held it to her face. "I love you so much Fitz"

The next morning Mellie opened her eyes to see Fitz looking at her. A slight smile came across her face as he kissed her. Everything had happened so suddenly that she had not really had time to think of her marriage, but this morning it was practically the only think on her mind. There was a question that she needed to be answered.

"What happens when Olivia comes back?"

Fitz was shocked that she would be asking that. "I… I don't know. I haven't really had time to think about it, have you?"

"Not really, but I broke things off with Andrew last night and it was just a thought that crossed my mind."

Fitz had to think about it for a minute "Don't worry about it Mellie, all of this had made me realize that I really want to work on our marriage."

Mellie could not help but think that he would probably change his mind once Olivia got back, but for now she was just going to go along with it. She did not have enough energy to do anything else.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I am so so sorry it took me so long to update. I have been really busy. I promise I will update faster this time. And the next chapter will also be longer. Please follow my story and review. Thanks, hope you enjoy :)**

Fitz loved listening to Mellie's voice. That morning she was singing while she was getting dressed. Fitz was laying in bed, but he did not want her know that he was awake or else she might get side tracked and stop singing. So he just sat there in bed for a while listening to her melodic voice.

When he finally got up he walked over to the closet where Mellie was picking out something for him to wear. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her in to kiss her.

Mellie smiled, "well good morning to you too"

Fitz let out a little chuckle, "Have I ever told you how much I love your voice"

"Yes honey, we have been married for a long time. You actually used to tell me quite often."

Fitz put on the suit and tie that Mellie had picked out for him and they headed down to the Oval Office. She walked him to his office every day since the funeral.

For two weeks they had been perfectly fine. After the funeral they realized the needed to be happy for what they had. For two weeks they were happy, well as happy as they could be with out Jerry.

But that day when they walked into the Oval Office Olivia was standing there by the desk. Mellie's heart sank in her chest.

Mellie stood by Fitz as he sat there shocked. Fitz finally managed to get a few words out, "What are you doing here Olivia?"

He said it almost as if he was more mad than curious "Can we talk in private?" Olivia asked

He looked at Mellie who still had her arm wrapped around him. She knew that was her cue to leave. She turned around and walked hesitantly out of the office.

"Fitz I have missed you so much." Olivia ran up to him and tried to kiss him but he pushed her away. She just stared at him with a curious look on her face.

"You can't just come back after a couple of weeks and pretend like everything is fine. Olivia you left me when I needed you the most. When I needed you to be there for me, you were gone."

Olivia did not know what to say, "Fitz... I..."

"No!" Fitz yelled "My son died and you were not here for me, but you know who was here? My wife. The one that everyone takes for evil and manipulative, she was here when I needed her." He put his hands on her shoulder and spoke softly, "you can't just come in here and pretend everything is ok, because it's not."

Olivia nodded, "I understand that Fitz, but this is us. I want Vermont and I want a bunch of kids running around, so I need you to decide if you want me in your life." Olivia walked out of the room.

The rest of the day all Fitz did was worked to try to get his mind off of things, while all Mellie did was sit there and think about what Fitz and Olivia talked about.

That night Mellie walked into the Oval Office drunk. She plopped down on the couch and started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Fitz asked.

Mellie spoke trying to hold back the laughter "In my mind I had come up with this whole story that Olivia was stranded on an island somewhere where she would never bother us again" the laughter stopped and a serious look crept across both of their faces "Fitz, you said you would never leave me again. Please don't take that back. Please stay with me"

Mellie felt pathetic as she stood in front of her husband begging him to not run off with his mistress.

Fitz knew, he knew that it took a lot for her to ask him to stay. She wasn't a woman that did things like that, she was too strong and had too much pride for that.

But here she was. Standing face to face with Fitz asking him not to go. He grabbed her arms and pulled her closer, "I told you I was never going to leave you again..."

Mellie looked down at the floor trying not to let him see the tears filling up in her eyes. He grabbed her chin and pulled it up. "Mellie look at me. I meant what I said. You don't have to be in this alone anymore."

She nodded her head. She wanted to believe him, but she didn't want to get her hopes up just to be let down again.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Hey. I kinda did this one really quick so that i could get another update in, so once again sorry if this one sucks. I will try to keep on updating, but please keep reading and reviewing it keeps me going. Anyway hope you enjoy :)**

When Olivia told him, Fitz just say there. His mind was racing, he didn't know exactly what he think about with all of these thoughts racing through his mind.

All he could hear through his thoughts was Olivia's words repeating over and over again in his head, "I'm pregnant"

After a few moments of processing Fitz was ready to talk about it. "I don't know what you want me to do about this Olivia. How long have you known?"

Olivia looked around the room for a second, "I've known since before I left, for about a month."

"ONE MONTH?" Fitz was furious. Why would she hide this from him for that long? "Why did you leave if you knew you were pregnant with my child?"

"I... I don't..." Olivia stuttered, she always got nervous when he got like this.

"Unless it's not mine..." Fitz said curiously

"Fitz, I'm not sure"

There were a million things he wanted to say at that moment, he wanted to call her a whore and sleep her across the face, but he was not going to. He calmed himself down before he spoke. "Well find out if it's mine or his." Fitz stormed out of his office.

He went to find Mellie. He had to talk to Mellie. He walked into the nursery where she was putting Teddy down to take a nap. "Mellie we need to talk"

She could tell by his tone of voice that it was something serious. This made her nervous. She walked out of the room and left Teddy in his crib.

Fitz did not know how to explain it so he was just going to tell her

"Olivia is pregnant and she doesn't know if it's mine"

Mellie was in true, utter, shock. Out of all the things she thought Fitz was going to say when he said "we need to talk," this was not one of them.

Shock turned into anger. Anger towards him for sleeping with someone else, anger towards herself for letting it happen, but mostly she felt hate for Olivia Pope.

She buried her face in her hands trying not to scream, trying not to cry. When she looked up she was laughing.

Fitz gave her a curious look. "Mells... Are you ok?"

She was still laughing, "I don't think the universe wants us to be together" as the laughter faded away a look of seriousness came into her eyes.

Fitz grabbed her hands "don't say that baby, it's not true. Life likes to throw us obstacles, but that just means the universe thinks we are strong enough to handle it." Mellie let herself smile slightly. "We don't even know if the baby is mine. Even if it is, it's not like I'm gonna go running back to her."

This made Mellie feel a little but better about her doubts about him leaving her again. "We should probably tell Cyrus, see what he thinks."

Fitz nodded in agreement. He grabbed Mellie's hand and they walked to Cyrus's office.

Mellie walked into the office first with a sweet looking smile on her face, automatically Cyrus knew something was wrong. He stood up,

"What's going on Mellie?"

"Why do you have to assume if I'm coming in here, there is something going wrong?"

Cyrus rolled his eyes. "Because I know that smile. That smile means you have bad news, so spit it out"

Fitz walked in. He was not going to force Mellie to say it. "Olivia Pope is pregnant." Fitz said.

Cyrus was speechless, wide eyed and speechless. Mellie imagined he was in shock just like she was when she found out.

Fitz could tell how astounded he was, he felt like he should say something but he did not know what. "We aren't sure if the baby is mine."

Cyrus finally managed to speak "well we need to find out as soon as possible, that way we can work out what we.."

Fitz interrupted him "no matter what I'm not getting back together with her. If it's mine then she can choose to have me in it's life, but we won't be together. I'm staying with my wife, where I am happy."

Mellie smiled and walked out with her arm wrapped around Fitz. She could not help but think that she would change his mind if the baby actually ended up being his.

Mellie was starting to get a really bad headache. She figured it was from everything that had happened. "I'm gonna go lay down and take a nap" she told Fitz.

Fitz kissed her and let her go off to take her nap. He went back to his office and just sat on the couch "what if this baby was his? And Olivia did want him in the baby's life?"

He was not really in the mood to think about that. He had 9 months to think about it.

At 11:00 when he finally managed to go to bed, he walked in to find Mellie staring at the ceiling on their bed, "Fitz I can not get this headache to go away."

He kissed her on the forehead. "Maybe with a good night of rest it will be better."

He drifted off to sleep. Mellie knew this was not going to be better in the morning, something was going on.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hey guys. I know I haven't updated in a LONG time. Sorry, I have been very busy with school but I am already working on the next chapter so I promise the next update will be much sooner. Oh and also I made this one longer for the people that were asking. Please keep reviewing and letting me know what you think, Hope you enjoy :)**

"How many times do I have to tell you that I am not going back to Olivia?" Fitz was furious at Mellie's paranoia.

"I'm sorry. I just want to make sure you won't leave me." Mellie felt like an idiot every time she brought up Olivia's pregnancy

"It's ok baby." Fitz kissed her, but she pulled away quickly. He got a questioning look on his face, "are you ok?"

Fitz turned around to straighten out some papers on his desk before they went off to bed "Fitz I have had this awful headache for the past 3 days. I think I need to go to the doctor."

Right as she stopped speaking Fitz heard a thump. He turned back around and saw Mellie passed out on the floor.

"Mellie!" He ran over to her and put his hand under her head.

Tom and Hal heard Fitz yell and immediately ran into the Oval Office to see what was going on.

He looked up at them with worry I'm his eyes, "Go get help!"

Hal immediately got the White House doctor on the phone, "The doctor will be here in a few minutes."

As soon as the doctor got there he ran in and asked Fitz what happened.

"I... I don't know. She said she's had a headache for three days, I didn't really think anything of it..." Fitz said trying to hold back tears

Fitz got out of the way to let the doctor examine her, but as soon as he got up Mellie started having a seizure.

His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. He heard sirens, "I called an ambulance on my way over here" the doctor said.

Paramedics rushed into the Oval Office. They stood there while the doctor gave her something to stop her from seizing, and then they picked her up and put her on a gurney.

Fitz ran with them as they went outside. He jumped into the ambulance and explained to them what happened. He looked down at his hand and noticed that it was holding Mellie's. He hadn't even notice that he had grabbed her hand.

She woke up right before they got to the hospital. Mellie looked down and noticed the oxygen mask on her face, "what happened?"

Before Fitz had time to answer they were taking her out of the ambulance. They saw that she woke up and was doing ok so they decided to put her in a room instead of going straight to testing.

After all of the doctors left the room Fitz sat down on the bed with Mellie, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine.. My head hurts, but I'm fine. Can you please tell me what exactly happened?"

Fitz didn't want to tell her. She had just made peace with Jerry's death and she didn't need another thing holding her back. "You passed out in the Oval, and then you had a seizure. They are going to run some tests later to find out what caused it."

Mellie looked down and sighed as a tear rolled down her cheek. She wrapped her arms around her husband's neck and hugged him tight. It was the only thing she could think to do.

Sometime between her son's death and now, Fitz's arms had begun to feel like home again.

Fitz pulled away from her. He looked at her face, he_ really_ looked at it. He wanted to take in every piece of her, every little detail.

Fitz put his hand on Mellie's face and ran his thumb across her cheek. Suddenly he was interrupted by a nurse, "Mrs. Grant, we need to take you up for testing now."

Mellie sat up in bed as Fitz kissed the top of her head. He felt like he should say something comforting but he didn't know what. "I love you." Those were the only words he could think of.

Fitz decided to call Olivia while he was sitting there alone. He knew he wasn't helping the situation by doing so, but it was the only thing he knew to do when he was upset.

As he waited for Olivia to answer the phone he felt guilty. He shouldn't be doing this.

She picked up the phone, "How is Mellie?"

"They are taking her up for testing now. How did you know about that?"

She let out a slight chuckle, "it's all over the news Fitz. She is the First Lady, what were you expecting?"

Fitz sighed as he remembered that the press would be all over this. He needed to call Abby and get her to release a statement about his wife, "I guess I haven't really had time to think about any of it... How have you been Olivia?"

"I'm okay."

"That's good to know."

"Fitz I probably need to go, I've got a lot of work..."

Fitz cut her off, "I want you to know that I still love you." Olivia tried to say something, but he wouldn't let her speak until he was finished with what he had to say, "I used to be madly, deeply in love with you, so I want you to know that you were not just my mistress. You were so much more. I still love you, just not the same way I used to. I'm sorry for ever hurting you, but no matter what I need to stay with Mellie. No matter what I will not leave my wife."

"I understand," Olivia said. It was surprisingly very genuine. She understood where he was coming for and finally Fitz did not feel guilty for being with his wife.

Fitz hung up the phone, and as soon as he did the doctors rolled Mellie back into the room.

When they left he grabbed Mellie's hand, "I spoke with Olivia."

Mellie was shocked, "really Fitz? Right now, when your wife is in distress you decide to call her?"

"Yes" Fitz said with assurance "I need to tell her that I wasn't in love with her anymore, she had to know. I am in love with you Melody Grant, and only you.

She smiled, grabbed his face and kissed him, "I love you too Fitzgerald"

She really truly always did. No matter what she went through, or how many times he left her alone, she always loved him.

"You better get some rest Mellie"

Not surprisingly, she fell asleep quickly. She had a long day.

When Mellie awoke she saw a team of doctors standing at her bedside, "We have your results Mrs. Grant"

She froze, "and...?"

"The reason all of this happened is because you have a tumor in your brain..."

They said some things after that but Mellie did not hear any of it. She couldn't hear anything except for her thoughts.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: sorry it took me so long to update (again) Please don't stop reading though! I know a lot of the things in this are not accurate, but I did my best. Anyways please review and follow, hope you like it :)**

Mellie woke up and looked around her hospital room that she had been in for the past week. She looked over not expecting to see Fitz sitting there. Fitz was usually at the White House in the morning. He would go there every morning, get some work done, and then he would go back to the hospital to sit with Mellie.

Mellie's surgery was today and Fitz decided that he was going to be at the hospital all day with her. He felt like he was more nervous about this surgery than she was. There were so many risks: she could go blind, she could lose any of her sense really. He could lose her.

Fitz and Mellie spent all day laughing and talking about their college days, they didn't want to talk about the surgery.

They talked about the early days of their relationship and how in love they were. Mellie brought up a party that they went to, where they had both stripped down to there underwear and jumped into the pool.

At around 5:00 p.m. the doctor came in, "Mrs. Grant it's time to get you prepped for surgery"

Fitz put his hand on top of hers. She looked him in the eyes, and for the first time since they found out about the brain tumor he sensed fear in her eyes.

Mellie was terrified but she didn't want to admit that to her husband. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to be the strong woman that Fitz fell in love with.

Fitz kissed her. Not just a pity kiss, it was a real, I love you please don't leave me kind of kiss. A kind of kiss that makes you think you can survive anything.

He bent down and whispered in her ear "you have to survive this. I love you"

"I love you too Fitzgerald" she said as they rolled her out of the room.

He knew that he wouldn't be able to see her until much later. The surgery would take hours its self, and then she would have to stay in recovery for at least an hour. He thought about sleeping for a while, but he couldn't sleep now.

About 2 hours later his phone rang, it was Olivia.

"I need to see you" Olivia said quickly

"Liv, I'm at the hospital right now I can't..."

Olivia cut him off, "Fitz I know who's baby it is"

He was silent for a minute

"So can I come to the Hospital or do you want to meet somewhere else?"

"Yea come to the hospital. I will see you in a little bit."

Fitz had a knot in his stomach. He never thought the baby was actually his, but why else would Olivia be coming all that way to deliver the news?

His mind drifted to what it would be like raising a baby with Olivia. It's what he had dreamed of for the past 4 years. Fitz knew he could leave his wife for Liv and still be happy, but he wanted to do the right thing. Right now he did not know exactly what the right thing would be.

When Olivia showed up he got up and hugged her, "I'm sorry I made you come all the way down here. I just don't want to leave, just incase."

Olivia smiled at him "it's alright." She sat down in a chair across from Fitz and saw him rubbing his thumb over his palm, "These past couple of years have been crazy."

"Yea. They have."

"We put Jake and Mellie through so much crap. But you know, I think in the back of all four of our minds we thought it would be you and me."

Fitz laughed, "I know I thought that. I guess we all thought wrong."

"The baby isn't yours Fitz, you're free to go be with your wife without feeling bad for me."

"Wow. I was kinda hoping it was mine." He said as he finally looked up from his hand.

"Jake is going to be a good father."

"Yea. He will be" Fitz said softly. He knew Jake really would be a good father. "Listen Liv, if you ever need anything let me know."

"Don't worry Fitz, I will"

Fitz watched her walk away from the room, and then buried his face in his hands.

4 hours later they rolled Mellie into her room, where Fitz was waiting for her. "How did the surgery go?" Fitz asked the doctor walking in behind her.

"There were not any major complications, but we won't know anything for sure until she wakes up" replied the doctor, trying not to give Fitz false hope.

"When will she wake up?"

"Well she could wake up any minute, but it could also be tomorrow"

The doctor left. Fitz kissed Mellie's hand. Right as he did he saw her trying to open her eyes.

"What.. Where am I?" Mellie managed to spit out

"They removed your tumor Mels. You are cancer free." Fitz said hopefully.

"Tumor? What Tumor? Who are you?" Mellie was so confused. She had no idea what was going on.

He couldn't believe it. His own wife didn't remember him. The doctors said that she might lose her memory, but Fitz had never known anyone that actually did. He thought it only happened it the movies. He laid his head on the bed.

The doctor walked in "hey I heard the First Lady was awake. How are you doing ma'am?"

She looked at the doctor curiously. "What? First Lady? What's going on?"

The doctor paused. "We are going to take you down stairs for observation"

Fitz looked up, "She doesn't remember me. She lost her memory didn't she?"

The doctor spoke reassuringly to Fitz, "well let's not jump to conclusions."

They took her right then.

Later they came back up and the doctor sat down with Fitz, "Mr. President it seems that your wife has selective amnesia. This basically means she can't remember important events, which is making all of her other memories very confusing. She still has all of her general knowledge that she has learned"

"So what do we do now?" Fitz said choking up.

"Well we've got two options. We can put her in therapy and try to help her get her memory back, or in a few days you can go home and see if she regains her memory on her own."

"I think I will take her back to the White House in a few days." Fitz said to the doctor.

4 days later they were back in the White House. Fitz had already explained all of the things that she needed to know before she went back to the White House.

He informed her that they had been married for 20 years. For now he told her that they only had two kids, Karen and Teddy. He told her that he was the governor of California before he became president and that she had been with him every step of the way.

Fitz was planning on telling Mellie everything else if she didn't gain her memory back, but he couldn't now.

As far as Mellie knew she had a perfect life, but she still had her social skills, so she still knew how to read people. She remembered that she had always been good at reading people. She could tell that her husband was hiding something from her.


End file.
